Goldilocks and the Three Bears
by Kitsune no Inori
Summary: The story of the three bears, Hunter x Hunter style. Kurama from Yu Yu hakusho is the narrator. One-shot


This is a Hunter x Hunter parody. Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho is the narrator.

_**Goldilocks and the Three Bears**_

"Okay, is everyone ready?" Kurama asked.

"...How'd you get here?" Killua asked Kurama.

"Someone has to narrate...so I volunteered," Kurama answered.

"I get to be Baby Bear!" Gon said.

Leorio said, "I have to be...Papa Bear..."

"And I have to be...Mama Bear!" Killua said. "Why do I have to be a girl?"

"You're not the only one..." Kurama said, pointing towards Kurapika.

"Hey, Kurapika, who do you have to be?" Leorio asked.

A very angry-looking Kurapika handed Leorio a piece of paper that read "Goldilocks."

"G-Goldilocks!" Leorio read. Then they all started laughing.

"Shut up!" Kurapika said, punching Leorio in the face.

"Ow!"

Kurama sighed, "Can we just get started, please?"

Kurama began reading, "Once there was a little girl named Goldilocks."

Kurapika stepped onto the stage while everyone else snickered.

Kurama continued, "That morning, three bears were about to eat breakfast..."

Killua sighed and put three bowls of porridge on the table.

Leorio took a big bite of the porridge.

"Yoooww! It's too hot! I can't eat this!"

"That's the point," whispered Kurama.

"Mine is too hot, too," Killua said.

"Hmm, tastes fine to me," Gon said.

"Gon!" everyone yelled.

"Oops...I mean, 'Mine is too hot, too'," Gon said.

"How about we go for a walk until the porridge cools?" Leorio said.

"So the three bears went for a walk in the woods. meanwhile, while Goldilocks was skipping through the woods, she came to the small cottage."

"Goldilocks? ...Goldilocks!" Kurama yelled. "Wake up!"

"...huh?" a tired Kurapika said.

"This is Goldilocks and the Three Bears, not Sleeping Beauty! Get back on the stage!"

Kurapika grumbled as he stepped up on the stage.

"When Goldilocks saw that no one was home, she stepped inside the cottage. She was hungry, so she made her way to the kitchen."

Kurapika walked over to the table.

"Ew...porridge..."

"Kurapika...that's not on the script," Kurama whispered.

"What script?" Kurapika asked.

Kurama sweat-dropped. "THIS script!" he said as he handed Kurapika the script.

"I am hungry, I think I will eat some porridge," Kurapika read.

"Goldilocks tasted the porridge in the three bowls." Kurama said.

Kurapika walked over to the big bowl. There were pieces of leaves and a bug in the porridge.

"...There is no way I am eating that," Kurapika said as he walked over to the second bowl.

"Yuck, this one is too cold..."

Kurapika walked over to the third bowl.

"And this one is...empty..."

"Gon!" everyone shouted.

"Oops...I was hungry," Gon said.

Kurama continued, "Next, Goldilocks was tired and wanted to rest, so she went into the living room and found three chairs."

Kurapika sat on the first chair, which was a cardboard box, that caved in.

"...ow," Kurapika said. "I'll sit on another one."

The second chair was a chair with a broken leg. As Kurapika sat in the second chair, it tipped over.

"Aaah!" Kurapika said as he fell backwards.

"Oh dear, that wasn't supposed to happen..." Kurama said, nervously.

Then Kurapika sat on the third chair...nothing happened.

"Um...it was supposed to break..." Kurama whispered.

Kurapika kicked the chair and broke it.

"There...now it broke..."

"Uhhh..." Kurama continued, "Then, Goldilocks was tired and went upstairs to the bedroom. She saw three beds."

"I am tired...I think I will go to sleep..." Kurapika said.

"Goldilocks walked over to the beds and sat on the first one."

"This bed is as hard as a rock," Kurapika said.

Kurapika walked over to the second bed.

"This bed has...," Kurapika said.

"Spiders in it?" Kurama said.

"AARGH!" Kurapika said as his eyes turned scarlet.

"Eeeh, l-l-let's continue," said Kurama. "Then Goldilocks sat on the third bed and fell asleep. Meanwhile, the three bears were coming home from their walk. The bears walked inside their cottage and noticed something was different."

"Hey...NO ONE ate out of my bowl of porridge..." Leorio said.

Kurama slapped his forehead, "Next..."

"Someone ate some of my porridge!" Killua said.

"I ate my porridge a loooong time ago!" Gon said.

"It was only tweny minutes ago, and you weren't supposed to do that," Killua said.

"Uh..then the three bears went to sit on their favorite chairs and noticed someone had been there." Kurama continued.

"My cardboard box is caved in!" Leorio said.

"My chair is tipped over..." Killua said.

"My chair broke! Waaaah!" Gon said.

"Then the three bears went upstairs." Kurama said.

"Someone has been sleeping in my bed!" Leorio said.

"And someone...hasn't...been sleeping on my bed..." said Killua.

"And someone is still in my bed!" Gon said.

"Why don't we chase _her _away!" Leorio said.

"Yeah!" Killua and Gon said.

"...I'm not running from you," Kurapika said as he woke up.

"Just do it, Kurapika!" They all said.

"Then the three bears chased Goldilocks away." Kurama said.

The End

Kurapika: And I'm never being Goldilocks again!


End file.
